Jesus, Lost Mary, Joseph and the wee donkey

The time has come, Christmas in the Holylands. They say it’s the most joyous time of year...we beg to differ. Home-cooked meals and consuming veggies are a thing of the past as the student loan has well and truly dried up at this stage and we’re living off ramen noodles that have been lying at the back of the cupboard for the last 6 months. Any energy we can scrape together is being used to crawl to the library in an effort to meet assignment deadlines alongside spending most of our free time doing the weekly task of fighting off the black mold that clings to every crevice in our humble (emphasis on the humble) abode. At this stage, we’re convinced someone is watering it with anabolic steroids when we’re not looking for I’d have only channelled my inner Kim and Aggie (I’ll be affronted if you don’t get that reference but maybe I’m really showing my age again here), stuck on the pink rubber gloves, and scrubbed the bejesus out of it, to then turn my back for 5 minutes and another mushroom would be sprouting from under the windowsill.

It’s not all bad though, at least when in the library we get to embrace the wonderful, magical sensation that is central heating, something that is but a myth in our house. With temperatures plummeting, we find ourselves morphing into human-sized fog machines where
anytime we speak, we can see our own breath, God forbid we all reside in the same room together. Next thing you know it's like a disco in the local parish hall years ago when it seemed as though the DJ hadn’t been let lose at a smoke machine before and you’d spend your night fighting your way through the mist. Picture those scenes and that is our standard Thursday evening in our living room while we cling to a hot water bottle in an effort to prevent losing an appendage to frostbite.

Anyway, given the fact that we are the positive, student geriatrics that we are, making the most of our eventful (for want of a better word) living situation and uni years before we graduate and spend the rest of our lives paying bills, we decided to make the most of our situation and whack up the Christmas decorations. I’ve turned into the exact person my mother used to slabber about on the way home from school when she’d spot a Christmas tree before the 1^st of December. Only, we added the Holylands

Twist. What better way to implement the good old reduce, reuse, recycle motto than to turn the tub of Lost Mary vapes that I may or may not have been collecting for the last 6 months into Christmas tree ornaments? Not forgetting our garden gnome that has gotten a promotion to a Christmas tree fairy. What can I say? Christmas on a budget. Absolutely revolutionary. But don’t worry, I’ll remember you all when I’m approached by Dragons Den for my utmost levels of creativity.